Stories for Smart Kids: Don’t put all your friends in one basket

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We love this story from Jodie Moyer shared on her blog It’s all good in Mommyhood about how she helped her daughter be more comfortable with the whole friends thing:

Last night she broke down because when she approaches these few girls at recess, they have been walking away from her. Her “friends” aren’t always so friendly.

My daughter truly only cares about this one very best friend, and I assured her this girl loves her the same as she always has. But this girl also has other friends. Many other friends. And sometimes she’s going to be doing something else at recess, or after school. My daughter needs to learn to not take it personally. And as for these girls who walk away from her? They are not friend material.

Last night, during our heart to heart, she way crying. I try my best to dig up life lessons and wisdom when my kids come to me with these problems that I really can’t just “fix.”

I decided to tell her about eggs and baskets.

“You can’t put all your eggs in one basket.”

“What do you (sniff sniff) mean?”

Let’s say you have a dozen eggs, and you put them all in this awesome, gorgeous basket because you love this one basket so much. But then you pick up the basket, and the handle breaks. What happens to your eggs?

“They all break.”

What if, instead of putting all your eggs in one basket, you put six in the gorgeous basket, and three in another basket. And then three more in one more basket. What happens if the best basket with the six eggs breaks now?

“I still have six eggs.”

That’s right. Your best friend is the gorgeous basket. But you need more than one basket.

She understood. After some tear wiping, I told her she needs to make more friends. She can’t be afraid to approach kids and ask them to play. She needs to have the same confidence she has in the gym when she is at school. She needs to believe in herself and know what a special girl she is.

Today, when she was leaving for school, I asked her what’s she’s going to do today. She looked at me and responded, “I’m going to get more baskets.”

This is a great way to help kids get perspective and I found it worked really well with my kids too. And on an interesting fact of the day theme, the origin of the widely used original idiom is apparently from the 17th century:

“It is the part of a wise man to keep himself today for tomorrow, and not venture all his eggs in one basket.”—Sancho Panza

in Don Quixote (Part I, Book III, Chapter 9) by Miguel de Cervantes [1547-1616].

Alexandra T. Greenhill, physician mom CEO myBestHelper

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